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20 Relationship Facts from My Life

It takes a long time to make sense of relationships. Sometimes I feel that it is well nigh impossible to make sense at all. I list some of the greatest mysteries that exist between human relationships:

  1. It is difficult to read other people’s minds.
  2. It is difficult to comprehend me as other people see me.
  3. What I think I know of others is an older version; the file keeps getting updated quite frequently.
  4. Most assumptions that I make in relationships are conditional. Sometimes I believe that I am important in the other person’s life, most times, I believe that I am not.
  5. Either of the beliefs does not really matter, since I know neither for sure.
  6. My assumptions are based on my life’s transactions with the other person. The higher the sharing of thoughts, laughter and worries, the closer I believe I am to the other.
  7. The absence of affection, care, and physical touch makes me believe that I am not important. I need to be touched to believe.
  8. I conveniently interpret silences in relationships as key indicators to absence of love.
  9. I have been often been wrong in my interpretations.
  10. Love is rarely reciprocated. Most times, we end up loving people who would not love us in return.
  11. Sometimes, the people we love them have their own love un-returned.
  12. Once I grew up, I rarely made a friend.
  13. You never know who will attract you and for how long. Sometime, some attractions last a month, but the longings linger on a life time.
  14. Sometimes, some relationships last a life time, but there is no real attraction, just adjustments.
  15. Happiness is not a normal state of being. Thoughts of happiness are.
  16. Sadness is not a normal state of being, loneliness is.
  17. Laughter is more alluring than tears. Years later, when everything else is forgotten, laughter remains etched in our memories.
  18. Tears of those you love hurt you just as much.
  19. The need for personal space is inversely proportionate to the need to be together. The more you feel like being together, the less space you require for yourself.
  20. It is impossible to reciprocate each person’s feeling in a similar manner.

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Clarity

I have looked at myself
From the edges of reason
And discovered
That both my sanity and insanity
Springs forth like seasons
Out of my distances from you. Realizing thus
I have allowed the outer rims
Of my diffused sanity
To fritter away into crumbs
Of misplaced memories
From my time with you. I have often found myself being unreasonable
When I am away from you.
And generally insane
When otherwise.

Objects in the rear-view mirror are…

When it was time for her to go, it was also time for me to let go. Once an irritant is washed out, they say you can start seeing better immediately. All that stupid tears and all that rubbing of the soul, until your eyelids would cry out, no more, no more. 
And then, just like that, one fine day, I wake up, and she was gone.
As the train chugged out
The tracks cried out in senseless
creaks of half despair

The Dark of the Night

You would not have walked with me
Had the nights been not so scary
And your nightmares
All so real for you.

I would not have held your hands
Had the hands that I wished to hold
Not left me out in the cold.
Let us together, you and I

Celebrate our togetherness
Even as in our silences
We cherish our separateness.

Mar 7, 2015
First published in Indian Sahitya, Feb 2017 Issue on Contemporary Indian Poetry