Skip to main content

An Alluring Sense of Disconnect

All is well until I hold you in my hands. Even as time stands still with baited breaths waiting for those postcard moment of life to be delivered, my own thoughts are far from you. The fear of what a hug would do to you keeps me from hugging you. The fear of how you would react to a touch, a feel a kiss keeps me from touching you feeling you kissing you.

The times that I have lived have been longer than those of others, the thoughts that shape me are as old as myself, the fears that haunt me today; have walked with through all my lonely trecks.

It suddenly seems that we two, we are at two disparate ends of an otherwise not so interesting life, I roll back my longings, pack my bags of desire... and walk on. With me walks an alluring sense of disconnect.

Rajesh

Comments

Popular Posts

Long Winter Chill

If I could do a Neruda,
You would have smelt of summer roses
And Autumn pine.
There would have been sheer love
Of the kind that causes our hearts to ache
And loneliness bordering the divine.
You would have had so many secrets
Welling up as in a girly giggle
And so few friends who would hear them all.I am no Neruda
I can't paint you a Summer breeze
Amidst this long winter chill.

Hush

You don't have to tell me.
I just know.
Its that little sniffle that comes through
The unexplained pauses
The slow responsesI know when you call
Just because you needed to cry.

Ring Ring - Take that Call!

Raj? (In mild annoyance)
Yes Princess?

Its a Sunday baby. Why do you have to answer all the calls on your phone?

This is my personal phone babe. I don't have too many people calling on this one.

Agreed. But this is the third time you are walking out of the room with your phone. It annoys me.
I am sorry Princess. But I will have to take all the calls. 
Raj..%#$@@**.(Major Annoyance)


---Silence-----


Princess?
What??

Do you remember Anju? 
That girl who went for a divorce?
Yes
What about her?
Two years ago, on one such Sunday, she had given me a call. I was surprised to see her call, since, we were not really thick. 

Hmm.. what happened? Did she want to marry you or what?
At first there was a lot of silence on the other side. I thought that her kid had dialed out accidentally. And then I plugged my other ear and said Hello again. I felt as if I could hear a sob, and then a whisper.  I did not disconnect the call. I just told her that I know something is not right. I told her that I will hear her ou…