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What I Write When I Miss You

Some images are disconcerting. The image of a train running out of a tunnel into the waiting night is one such image. Some of my oldest memories are memories from Train journeys. The incessant clatter of iron wheels on iron tracks used to drum up sad thoughts in me. I have often wondered how loco pilots would feel inside goods trains on moonless nights. The only things that they would see are railway tracks, everything else will be pale blue, black and gloomy.

My life these days are quite similar. I peer into the darkness lit by little lights that my loved ones have left behind. All I see is an endless row of fishplates and railway tracks. The stations on the way are mere distractions, some day I need to unload, unwind. Someday I need to stop this speed. Someday will be my last day, some journey, my last errand to run. Some day I will pull into a station... never to leave.

In my journey tearing through the darkness of my life, I am guided by the Spirits and also by the memories of wonderful journeys from the past. My Grandma smiles down and so does my Uncle and all those loved ones who have now completed their dreary journeys and watch over me. Someday I too will gaze down on fellow travelers and guide my loved ones.

Life is long, It takes a long time living. Enjoy the clatter, be guided by the stars and the signals.

Rajesh

Comments

  1. Sounds as though you do need to take time and enjoy the important things around you. These things are not usually the big, grand scale things, but the moments spent with loved ones and friends, and even quiet walks alone to think about the good things in our lives.
    It is Christmas for many of us, and that too can make some people sad. They remember past Christmases, and miss people that were part of those memories instead of being glad they have those memories. Life is change and we must make ourselves find the good. Sometimes it starts with helping someone else, sometimes just a smile.

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First published in Indian Sahitya, Feb 2017 Issue on Contemporary Indian Poetry