Growing old is a good thing. It is like cold steel turning malleable, it is like harsh jagged edges of rocks getting rounded by the consistent onslaught of the seas and the winds. Growing older is about replacing my original beliefs about changing the world with uncomfortable thoughts about my own immortality, my own super stardom. Maybe I am not the only superman walking the earth! Maybe I don't have the kind of time I initially thought I had. Maybe I don't have the credits and bonus points in my kitty to go on fighting monsters and hidden enemies of the world forever.
The years as they pass by lend relevance to what the masters have said before... Maybe some bit of what happens in my life is also because of me. Maybe those who have run away have run away because I am the kind of person who makes them kind of people run away. Maybe those who tag along tag along because there is something in me that glues them to me. I am good for some not good for some.
The rage of youth and the extreme urge to bracket others into good and bad, right and wrong, dumb or bright, poor our rich, educated or illiterate, like me and hence good, unlike me and hence bad etc. is giving way to silent consistent probing about myself.
The years ahead will see me taking on the demons in me more often. I realize that when I hate less...I find that there is more space to love. Love is something that helps make life happier, hatred is like a handheld 3g device, it generates to much heat and drains the batteries lot faster. Love is slower, helps you live longer.