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The Fear of Grey

Autumn brings in memories of muted grey and flying ash. Memories of fallen leaves gradually letting go of their greens.

Autumn paints itself on a desolate canvas.

It is that season wherein your eyes draw back your tears into itself. It is that season when your hope falters and your faith waivers like the last of the twigs holding on to some imaginary leaf.

Such is wretched misery of this waiting, it transforms your soul into a refugee. You grab on to made up memories from some imaginary springtime and trudge through your life believing that your world is this bleak canvas, and you that grey tramp ploughing your soul through limbo.

No. It is not a nightmare, for it is not night yet, just the dreary day draped in grey.

There are no dreams, for to dream, you need to get to sleep, and you rarely get to sleep on days that stretches for years and is blatantly grey.

But when the first set of silly shoots find their way through sunken craggy gnarly wood, we drench in its first shameless showers and hurry to erase memories of Autumn from our minds. Green replaces grey. Hope that springs eternal, brings back faith, brings back love. The only hint of Autumn is in the hurried glances that we keep giving our loved ones. It is in the sudden desperate hugs and fierce embraces. The fear of draught scalds your soul, singes your being. Just once is one time too many.

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Long Winter Chill

If I could do a Neruda,
You would have smelt of summer roses
And Autumn pine.
There would have been sheer love
Of the kind that causes our hearts to ache
And loneliness bordering the divine.
You would have had so many secrets
Welling up as in a girly giggle
And so few friends who would hear them all.I am no Neruda
I can't paint you a Summer breeze
Amidst this long winter chill.

Ring Ring - Take that Call!

Raj? (In mild annoyance)
Yes Princess?

Its a Sunday baby. Why do you have to answer all the calls on your phone?

This is my personal phone babe. I don't have too many people calling on this one.

Agreed. But this is the third time you are walking out of the room with your phone. It annoys me.
I am sorry Princess. But I will have to take all the calls. 
Raj..%#$@@**.(Major Annoyance)


---Silence-----


Princess?
What??

Do you remember Anju? 
That girl who went for a divorce?
Yes
What about her?
Two years ago, on one such Sunday, she had given me a call. I was surprised to see her call, since, we were not really thick. 

Hmm.. what happened? Did she want to marry you or what?
At first there was a lot of silence on the other side. I thought that her kid had dialed out accidentally. And then I plugged my other ear and said Hello again. I felt as if I could hear a sob, and then a whisper.  I did not disconnect the call. I just told her that I know something is not right. I told her that I will hear her ou…

Hush

You don't have to tell me.
I just know.
Its that little sniffle that comes through
The unexplained pauses
The slow responsesI know when you call
Just because you needed to cry.