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One Wave at a Time

I can hear your voice on the other side of the phone. Its like some lonesome wave spent from a long voyage crashing unto my shores. I love it when you crash into my world. I love the overwhelming sense of being drenched by you. I love the mysterious stories you tell me of magical lands. I love how you try to make it up for all the time we lost by speaking too fast, running out of breath. I love the way you explore yourself around my loneliness from you. I love the faint sense of unease in your tone, as you try to find out if I am the same edges you rounded off from all these years of random onslaught. I love the saltiness of my soul that you leave behind.

My Silences

Don't judge me by my silences. They don't divulge the whole story. There is a story that runs in my mind. I carry it's lines in my thoughts and live its scenes in my life. I am the Macbeth and the Othello. I am also the Romeo in my story. You are omnipresent. It is as if the script revolves around you. You are in each scene, ever chapter every line. And as the curtain comes down on me, you dissolve into my mind, like a dark cloud of my own making. Taking weird forms of my own perception. Don't judge me by my silences. There was never a moment in my life, when I stopped talking to you.

आज़ादी

आज़ादी हम भी चाहते हैं तुमसे आज़ादी। तुम्हारे मांगों से आज़ादी ये दंगों से आज़ादी जिन शोलों में तुम हो लिपटते मेरे आशाओं से भरे तिरंगे को मेरी आन, मेरी शान, मेरे ज़मीर के निशानी को उन शोलों से आज़ादी। जिस आक्रोश से मार गिराते हो मेरे चमन के लाडलों को मेरे वतन के सिपाहियों को उस आक्रोश से आज़ादी। आज़ादी हम भी चाहते हैं तुमसे आज़ादी जिस मिटटी कि खुश्बु है हिंदुस्तानी जिस मिटटी में है सिमटी यादें हमारी तुमसे कई पुरानि, चाहते है हम भी आज़ादी तुमसे उस मिटटी की आज़ादी। केहना तो बहुत कुछ है दोस्त पर है हम पर भी कुछ पाबन्दी, ये तुम्हे है अब सोचना तुम्हारी मांग जो है आज़ादी है किस्से ये आज़ादी हमारे मिटटी से तुम्हारी या तुम्हारी सोच से है हमारी आज़ादी? आज़ादी हम भी चाहते हैं, तुमसे आज़ादी। .... This is my attempt to voice the intense unhappiness that the state of affairs in our state of Kashmir is causing to every Indian. I wish our politicians and media would stand up for the country rather than help us burn down our own attic. The land from where flows down this ancient civili

Rain in the Morning

It rained this morning, The sky that was dark and broody All these days Broke into tears With a loud clap of thunder. The earth let out it's pent up lust With vapor floating Over black tar roads And tin tops. I had washed my car a while ago. Raindrops, Bouncing bubbles bursting And dancing Would have drenched it All over again. Everything I know Follows some weird rules of its own. It rains when it rains And takes no notice of me. Everything that happens around me Everything that surrounds me Reminds me So much of you.

That Pinch of Blue with Grey

Long flights dredges up lost memories from an otherwise sunshiny life. They come from all the corners, steadily, like coyotes, biting away small bits, from my otherwise well preserved sanity. From my childhood, comes echoes of laughter, and playing in the sand, and jumping off trees and beautiful looking Didi's and school teachers and sir Raj, smoking charms , endlessly. The laughter bounces off my brusque facade of professional chicanery, and chips away some paint on the go. Right from under the starched white shirt front, I bleed blue, as I remember myself and my sis, playing, alone, under the guava tree. We were young once, and our life was full of each other, forever. From my youth, my grand uncle calls out, in a voice unheard for a decade. I see myself grinding arecanut for him to chew, in return of cardamom treated raw tobacco. I see us painting the front lawn red, together, three generations apart, chewing home grown betel. Some bit of that red betel haunts me again, sparkli

What the dew drop saw

To be caught in a moment And in it find Surprisingly Entangled Eternity. To shine bright In another's light And still look beautiful From every corner Of an otherwise fickle Life. We will all die With the morning sun Eventually. Trodden, ridden, burnt, Ignored, unloved, sad Ugly, old, young We all die Anyway. Even meteors do And oceans And seas And life And pastures And grandma And uncle And Krishna With the morning sun All that we do Somehow will By magic Or HIS will Will get undone. To find eternity Unsung Glowing bright And getting it right Just once Would work just as well As a lifetime Of burning bright. Don't shun the moment Just because you believe That there is too much light And makes you feel That it does not belong To you Just yet. Hold on. Burn bright.

Tomorrow is just another day

The train that I was on stopped at a small station on route to its destination. There was a sudden silence that fell like a velvet robe across the train. The station was absolutely empty. No guards visible, no vendors, no beggars, no dogs, no dripping of water from leaking ancient pipes... Absolutely nothing. It was almost as if the visualizer had morphed a train full of tired people into a 3d postcard. Right then there was a shudder on the other lane. A train thundered across the rails at a speed that for me was incredible. Such was the speed that it did not allow me to count its bogies. Such was the speed that I almost forgot to breathe for about 30 seconds. Now I knew why my train was halted at this junction. We had to give way to the faster train. Our journey was about to end in an hour, this one's had only begun. I see my little nephew raise a storm at our ancestral house even as his grandpa looks fondly at him, loving the coiled energy in the child. The young are in a perpetu

Some stories are like that only

I just finished this book. It left me disturbed. All the hours spent lovingly turning the pages came to a naught. There was no poetic justice. The villain was not caught, the hero did not get the heroine. It opened up so many loops that never closed. It was like a dream interrupted, a limb torn off. Stories have no right to end this way. But some stories are like that. They are quite like our lives. Half lived. Like a dream interrupted and then lost to everyday living.

Musings

I miss many people in my life. I miss the dead but I miss some of the living a lot more. I can see them going about their daily lives, and their everyday lives look just as good without me. I miss a lot of people in my life. Those whom I miss, rarely miss me.

Life on a Metro

The next station is New Delhi. Gates will open on the left. The constant crooning of announcements lull me into a trance. As I consume time and distance, I don't want this ride to end. Everything is so clean. Everything so much in control. Each of us sit silently sullenly looking into some point on the roof that is really not there. Nobody catches my eye. They don't want me to remember them. Nobody wants to remember me either. It's a ride. And it is all paid for upfront.