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Showing posts with the label DS Diaries

Come with me into the Sea

The undulation of the terrain Matches the ruggedness of the soul Here I grow into you Grass and roots and boughs and all And there you run away from me Silt and soil and sand and all Here I am the land And there you are the river Together, muddied and sullen and silent We whirl our destinies Into the awaiting Sea With our longing and our lust And our memories and our Souls entwined We all journey Into the Sea, Into the Sea.

Can you still hear me?

If I could reach out to you Through the crisscrossing noise Of the crushing static undertones You would hear your name Read out aloud In every prayer I let out Into this now empty universe. You are in the crackling And the sputtering Of breeze stricken diyas From all Diwalis past You are in the daily din of life That is walking by Without looking back at the souls Stranded on cobblestone pavements And left behind in time. If I could reach out to you Through the dense fog Of distant minds and angry hearts You would hear my heart beat With the same erratic thump That you left behind.

अबकी होली

इन रंगों में वो रंग कहाँ ये रंग नहीं, है फीका पानी जो स्वाद थी तुम्हारी भरी इस ज़िन्दगी में जो तुम नहीं तो वो स्वाद नहीं। सुनो प्रेयसी थी अबीर जो सिंदूरी उड़ गयी शायद बीतते वक़्त की आंधी में। लो आज फिर जो आयी है होली एक चुटकी तुम अपने हाथों से वो लाल हरी चूड़ियां की खनखन से उड़ा देना दखिन की ओर और रंगरेज मेरे इन रंगों को फिर घोल देना बहती झरनों में और ले आना मेरे आँगन में फिर से एक ऐसी होली जिसमे रंग हो उसके गुलाल की सिन्दूरी जिससे कम हो जाये फिर हमारे दिलों की ये दूरी।

Moonlight Glitter

I have felt your heart beat At my finger tips I have felt the heightened fluttering In your being From my being. I carry within me forever the warmth From that near embrace The moonlight that lends a sparkle To the glitter in your lashes Reminds me of that night When I first realized That the heart that beats near mine Is just as mine Only closer.

It is not about the mirror

I have a picture of you looking into a one of those funny mirrors. This pic is a reflection of you in the mirror. You have one big grin on your face and this is the most beautiful pics that I have of you. I have visited that place many times later. I have stood before that mirror and made faces. I have even asked those who have accompanied me to stand before the mirror and smile. That mirror has never again reflected a smile a beautiful as yours.


I am aware that you hide my thoughts in far away places. Wardrobes that hold your old clothes and forgotten perfumes keep me company. I am in that stack of old letters and Google chats that you have archived. I am also the faint whiff of lavender that remains in those weeds you have hanged by your window. On a lonely Saturday midnight, when you feel like a holler, I am in the Teddy that you go to sleep with. I meander into your dreams, forgotten moments in time, etched into hard drives like a virus that you cannot clean, like a file you cannot find. I am the keyword you do not remember.  I am the red in your Gypsy blood. I will always re-grow.

बारिशों कि बातें

एक चाहत थी , पुरानी सी कभी सुलगती , तो कभी अधमरी । जब बारिशों   का मौसम आता था , पंखुड़ियों की चाहत होती थी जी करता था मैं भी भीगूँ और कुछ और बन जाऊं। जब ग्रीष्म प्रलय बरसाती थी , जी करता था मैं भी जल जाऊँ , अग्नी को सीने से लिपटाये मैं भी बस अब राख हो जाऊं। बारिशें आज भी होती है तपती धरती अब तक है पर ख्वाइशें अब कुछ बदल सी गईं , सदियों की इस बिछडन से उम्मीदें मर सी गयी है। फिर कभी तुम आ जाना यूहीं ईमेल या स्कूटी मैं थोड़ा परेशान और थोड़ा प्यार दोनों एक बार फिर से कर जाना उम्मीदें तो बैटरी है जब चाहे चार्ज कर देना। कम से कम एक कॉल फिर एक बार कर देना।

That Fluttering of Broken Wings

If you were to cross the road and hurt your toe, I know that I will never know. As we go on to take different roads and move on across different shores, there is something that happens to our relationships. Something that estranges, disconnects, disintegrates. I know that you still think of me. I know this because I find myself thinking about you. And thoughts rarely get seeded on their own. It comes from you to I and from I to you until one of us is alive. Old relationships rarely die. Like broken winged moths, they hang around dark alleys of forgotten memory lanes. Ever so often, I can hear one of them flutter its wings. Not too close but never too far.

The Allure of your Eyes

The allure of your mystical eyes have fascinated me for many years now. Memories from the time we walked together have held on to me like some stubborn perfume that refuses to die. Come, dance with me will you, till the end of time. Let's grow old together you and I shall we? And when you are bored of all these silences , Pick up that phone and fight with me. If death be a certainty Death by drowning fascinates me.


Of all the battles that I have waged and won I keep no records. For those were to be fought and won And thus were done. But it is this little skirmish that started unnoticed Closer to the resting place of all desires That now threatens with a wily flutter And silently consumes me in a raging fire. It is not as it were before For there is no friend that fights with me Or a foe like the ones that I fought before. Would it be tragic then of me to lose For what she then would call her own I have been but a mere custodian since long And waited for her all this while To claim as her own.

Screensavers Change

People have asked me Who is this that I have on my screens? My phone has her and my tab too. I tell them that you are the one that got away. The one that i could never get over with. Screensavers change, they say. And I agree with them... Thank God I have enough photos of you. All my devices are full of you.

Into the Darkling Night

Will you look back One last time Before you step out Into the night and walk away With everything that was ever right. Will you hold your breath For a few seconds more Before you give out that God forsaken sigh. For just a moment more Will you look into my eyes.

Cold Winter Chill

  How cold can this winter be? You would know that wont you my love? The blood in my marrows have frozen still And you are yet to blink!

How well do I know you?

From the time we were together to this day when you live in me through my words, I have often asked myself how well I knew you. I have heard this spoken about myself, as to how hard it is to understand me, as if I were a mystery, a Dan Brown novel. I have known you just as well as I have known myself through you. In the fleeting moments of togetherness, I have heard my heart sync with yours and sing the same songs, dance to the same beats. I have felt two souls resonating, as if we were strung to two separate guitars but  strummed by the same cosmic guitarist. I have inhaled your shampooed hair and fell in love with the way you smell. You have breathed me in as I held you close, and from the way I could hear your heart beat, like that of a little humming bird, I knew how much you loved it with me around. I have heard your Hindi poems late into night and I so believe that your lines are far closer to perfection than my meandering thoughts. I have crossed busy Hyderabad streets with you,

Wallpaper Love

I am sure Your face would have begun To share tales of times passed by. A couple of those smile lines That now give you company Were originally planted with love Possibly by I I have captured you in 22 pictures Each frozen in time Each forever mine. Someday Should you wish to see yourself Through my eyes I will share with you my wallpapers In there, you always wear a smile And there are no lines. From Life in a Multiverse

Long Flights

Long flights remind me of you. All this cacophony of every day living and suddenly there is so much time. What do I do with all this time? Long flights remind me of you. I have left the city lights and even the clouds behind. Up here there is white sunshine. I can see right up to the rim and beyond. The constant growl of engines is the only give away, nothing  moves, for hours, everything outside remains same. And then you start taking over my mind. Like the sky that turns crimson before night, I can feel your thoughts invade, pervade, persuade. Color me crimson when there is still time. Color me crimson before it is night. Long flights... Ah long flights!

Moved On

I chanced upon your linked in update, It says you have moved on. I know that you have left my town A town for which you had mixed memories Of love longing and pain. You could have dropped a line I know it is difficult for you It would have been easier on me. Yesterday on my way back home I saw someone like you on the road The winter fog seems to be playing games For in the heart of winter chill I felt the warmth of summer breeze. You are my sunshine You keep shining still :-)

Long sentences

Should there be some reason Why you invade my thoughts When I am least expecting your knock And you have no business to come calling. Or is it that you think of me At odd times and without any rhyme or reason And your thoughts make way to me Through the dense fog of everyday living It might even be that your thoughts punctuates My every day stupid living And every time I stop to catch my breath from this living I think of you.

Forgotten Memories

Some day I will sink into your past Like a forgotten memory misplaced And when there are ripples in your lake You will remember of me In its little dancing waves. On cold winter nights When you light a cigarette The smoke that gets into your eyes Will make you cry And leave you wondering if it were the smoke Or some memory that got dredged up in time This will happen. And now that I need to exit your tomorrows I will continue forever in your yesterdays. Live long...for with you I live along.