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Tunnels in Time

Its my 36th birthday today. Like the dish that they never served, the movie scene they censored and the interview call that never came, I missed you in my life today. 


I have taken an inventory of those who blessed me today, and I have realized that for a generally unsociable moron like me, I have had too many loving souls wishing me. While I thank my maker for this day and the blessings, in this milieu... I miss you. If life were a journey through a tunnel in time, I am barely scraping through this part of my travels. I know that I will wake up with your thought throbbing in my head, like a migraine that wont fade; and I know that I will sleep with your thoughts running in my mind, like some virus that wont be deleted, cant be quarantined. Knowing that somewhere far away from me, your thoughts might too rest on thoughts of me  gives me no solace. I know that you miss me too.


Knowing you I have known that it is those whom we love most that we hurt most and are most hurt upon by. I wish it could be different. Now that this day is almost run, I look forward to those years to come, I look forward to your surviving in me as a memory as a pain as a wish. Happy Birthday to Me.

Comments

  1. Happy birthday! I hope this painful memory will mellow over the years as you find ever new joy and love in your life.

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Mar 7, 2015
First published in Indian Sahitya, Feb 2017 Issue on Contemporary Indian Poetry