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Tunnels in Time

Its my 36th birthday today. Like the dish that they never served, the movie scene they censored and the interview call that never came, I missed you in my life today. 


I have taken an inventory of those who blessed me today, and I have realized that for a generally unsociable moron like me, I have had too many loving souls wishing me. While I thank my maker for this day and the blessings, in this milieu... I miss you. If life were a journey through a tunnel in time, I am barely scraping through this part of my travels. I know that I will wake up with your thought throbbing in my head, like a migraine that wont fade; and I know that I will sleep with your thoughts running in my mind, like some virus that wont be deleted, cant be quarantined. Knowing that somewhere far away from me, your thoughts might too rest on thoughts of me  gives me no solace. I know that you miss me too.


Knowing you I have known that it is those whom we love most that we hurt most and are most hurt upon by. I wish it could be different. Now that this day is almost run, I look forward to those years to come, I look forward to your surviving in me as a memory as a pain as a wish. Happy Birthday to Me.

Comments

  1. Happy birthday! I hope this painful memory will mellow over the years as you find ever new joy and love in your life.

    ReplyDelete

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Long Winter Chill

If I could do a Neruda,
You would have smelt of summer roses
And Autumn pine.
There would have been sheer love
Of the kind that causes our hearts to ache
And loneliness bordering the divine.
You would have had so many secrets
Welling up as in a girly giggle
And so few friends who would hear them all.I am no Neruda
I can't paint you a Summer breeze
Amidst this long winter chill.

Hush

You don't have to tell me.
I just know.
Its that little sniffle that comes through
The unexplained pauses
The slow responsesI know when you call
Just because you needed to cry.

Ring Ring - Take that Call!

Raj? (In mild annoyance)
Yes Princess?

Its a Sunday baby. Why do you have to answer all the calls on your phone?

This is my personal phone babe. I don't have too many people calling on this one.

Agreed. But this is the third time you are walking out of the room with your phone. It annoys me.
I am sorry Princess. But I will have to take all the calls. 
Raj..%#$@@**.(Major Annoyance)


---Silence-----


Princess?
What??

Do you remember Anju? 
That girl who went for a divorce?
Yes
What about her?
Two years ago, on one such Sunday, she had given me a call. I was surprised to see her call, since, we were not really thick. 

Hmm.. what happened? Did she want to marry you or what?
At first there was a lot of silence on the other side. I thought that her kid had dialed out accidentally. And then I plugged my other ear and said Hello again. I felt as if I could hear a sob, and then a whisper.  I did not disconnect the call. I just told her that I know something is not right. I told her that I will hear her ou…