Skip to main content

The Season Of Changes

A friend of mine is moving to Pune. The decision to move was taken, finalized and effected in 20 minutes flat. She leaves this Sunday. Yesterday, over the phone, she made a remark that just does not go away from my mind. She said..."Before you could leave me... I am leaving you." Something in this remark set me thinking of the how my insensitive and thoughtless comments might have hurt her. I am sure that this might have been one of the reasons why she took up that assignment in Pune. Well, I am not sure, but there does exist a probability.

I myself am shifting to Chennai for a couple of months. I do not believe in coincidences, rather, I strongly believe in design. It was only a week ago that I shared with a friend of mine how much I wished to stay away from Hyderabad for a while. The last four months have been taxing, mostly because increasingly I was becoming aware of the silences in my personal life. Somehow I felt that if I move to Chennai or Bangalore (Sis and Brother live in these places) I would gain some composure and stop that humming in my brain. And then a new project happened. I jumped at the opportunity and am ready to pack and go... at least for a couple of months.

My impending re-location and the sudden changes that this has brought about in my existing relationships is disturbing. Whether this is good or bad is something which cannot be deduced in foresight. Maybe a year later, when new faces populate my life and I fight new battles, I will look back and write on the cascading affect of my decision.

I look forward to this change, I am also a very uneasy. The thought that I will no longer be able to glance across and see faces I have grown to love is not easy.

The times, they are a changing, the winds of change fills my sails. What tide awaits in high seas, you know not nor I.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Objects in the rear-view mirror are…

When it was time for her to go, it was also time for me to let go. Once an irritant is washed out, they say you can start seeing better immediately. All that stupid tears and all that rubbing of the soul, until your eyelids would cry out, no more, no more. 
And then, just like that, one fine day, I wake up, and she was gone.
As the train chugged out
The tracks cried out in senseless
creaks of half despair

Long Winter Chill

If I could do a Neruda,
You would have smelt of summer roses
And Autumn pine.
There would have been sheer love
Of the kind that causes our hearts to ache
And loneliness bordering the divine.
You would have had so many secrets
Welling up as in a girly giggle
And so few friends who would hear them all.I am no Neruda
I can't paint you a Summer breeze
Amidst this long winter chill.

Clarity

I have looked at myself
From the edges of reason
And discovered
That both my sanity and insanity
Springs forth like seasons
Out of my distances from you. Realizing thus
I have allowed the outer rims
Of my diffused sanity
To fritter away into crumbs
Of misplaced memories
From my time with you. I have often found myself being unreasonable
When I am away from you.
And generally insane
When otherwise.